My idea of heaven consists of all the things I would go to hell for
being too shy to ask for wi-fi passwords
Grab her booty in front of dudes who want her.
Grab her booty in front of women who want you.
That second one means so much.
"sweetie can you please clean your ro-"
[lawyer voice] the prosecution makes a compelling argument, but have you considered this *puts middle finger up*
the sun’s pretty hot… id fuck it
I love when i know how wet I am but he doesn’t. Then he puts his hand down there and the reaction is priceless 😈
This is gold
want to burn 1000s of calories fast???
- try to put your bed sheets on your bed
me: *eats cookie dough*
some weak ass person: “you’ll get salmonella poisoning!!!”
An important purchase